Am I not more than enough for you?
The question, asked by the Great I Am, stilled my words and tears.
I knew I faced a choice. If I answered yes to God, I would need to act in faith on that yes and start turning to Jesus for the joy and satisfaction I had been looking for in other places. If I answered no, I would deny my faith in the goodness, faithfulness, and trustworthiness of God.
I had repented of my sin and believed in Jesus’ power to save me when I was young. Growing up as a pastor’s kid, I had seen my parents’ genuine love for God and the church, and it made me love Jesus too.
However, I didn’t understand Christ’s power to deliver me from sin or the need to give up my life in exchange for His. As a result, I struggled with sinful strongholds and spiritual pride into my mid-teens when God challenged me with that question.
The Power of the Gospel
I had just spent a weekend having fun with friends. At the end of it, I felt a deep emptiness. It seemed like everyone else had something I wanted and couldn’t get. Lying in my bed that night, I began telling the Lord how hard it was to see everyone else enjoying what I wanted.
Halfway into my prayer, I clearly sensed the Lord interrupt me with that question, “Am I not more than enough for you?”
I knew my options. It didn’t take me long to decide my answer.
I did love Jesus, and I did believe that He gives us abundant life. I had known and loved Him too long to doubt His goodness and faithfulness and love.
So I answered, “Yes Jesus, you are more than enough to satisfy my soul forever.”
I believed the words of Psalm 16:11; “In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
A few days after that night of surrender, I watched a youtube video explaining the gospel. It opened my eyes to see how Jesus’ death did so much more than just pay the penalty for our sin. His death sets us free from bondage to sin, clothes us in His righteousness, invites us into close fellowship with God, adopts us as children with all the rights and privileges of children of the King of Kings, sends us into the world with this good news, and actually gives us access to His very life. It is Him that lives in and through us so that we might be victorious over sin and able to accurately represent Him to this world.
God soon gave me many opportunities to apply this when He reminded me of sinful patterns I had allowed to remain in my life. I knew He was asking me to repent.
But I had tried repenting of these sins before and had failed to overcome them. I told God that I couldn’t do it and He graciously led me to read Romans chapter six.
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. … Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. For he who has died has been freed from sin. … For the death that [Christ] died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
(Romans 6:1-4, 6-7, 10-14)
I had never considered myself dead to sin before. I felt very alive to it. However, if this was God’s word I decided to believe that it was true and I thanked Him for making me dead to sin and alive to God. I also remembered that as a result of His death, He gave me His life. I asked Him to enable me to overcome.
When I began walking in surrender, repentance, and faith (or trust), the Lord faithfully delivered me from bondage to sin.
More than Enough
Since then, Jesus has never failed to be more than enough to satisfy my soul. I’ve had seasons of loneliness – He has been the most faithful friend.
I’ve had times when I didn’t know if I would have a job – He has proved a faithful provider.
I’ve had seasons of uncertainty – He has proved a loving guide.
I’ve felt incredibly weak – He has been a strength and help in my time of need.
One of my most played songs from 2020 was The Goodness of God. These lyrics are a testimony of my life:
I love You Lord
For Your mercy never failed me,
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands.
From the moment that I wake up
until I lay my head down
I will sing of the goodness of God.
All my life You have been faithful
All my life You have been so so good
With every breath that I am able
I will sing of the goodness of God.