Exposing the Inner Beauty Lie

I smiled inwardly as the door shut behind the last guest and silence flooded my house. It had been a good evening. Replaying the evening events in my mind I quickly loaded a stack of coffee mugs and crummy plates into the dishwasher. Encouraging conversations, laughter and deeper friendships left me with much to praise God for.

With the kitchen cleaned up I made my way downstairs to get ready for bed. Before removing my contacts I took a quick glance in the mirror and my happy heart instantly began to waver on the brink of insecurity and depression.

“You’re face isn’t pretty. Everyone else at your house tonight had perfect skin.”

The lies flooded my mind and I struggled in vain to stop them. They followed me into my dreams and by 6:30 the next morning insecurity had strangled my joy and arrested my emotions before I even had a chance to turn off the alarm.

Every one of us has been there. Just when you think you’re doing great one passing glimpse of yourself in a car window throws the whole day into a downward spiral. Suddenly, without warning you don’t want to talk to anyone. All you want to do is stay in bed so no one can see you.

Today’s girls and women are more insecure about their appearance than any previous generation. This is despite having access to makeup lines, fashion blogs, gym memberships, manicures, hair dye, diet plans, and a plethora of other beauty tools previous generations never had.

Obviously these things aren’t helping women feel more beautiful, secure, and confident.

Inner Beauty

Recently our culture realized that it’s focus on outward appearance was causing insecurity issues, so they began a new campaign named “inner beauty.” This is the idea that deep inside each of us is a unique, inherent beauty. You don’t need the makeup or the diet plan. You just need to embrace you and get comfortable in your own skin.

And it’s not just secular culture embracing the concept of inner beauty, Christian girls and women are devouring this idea like it’s a pan of warm, fudge brownies and no one’s watching. We are looking into the recesses of ourselves to find the worth and radiance we crave.

We are redefining beauty in terms like these:

“Beauty is being yourself.”

“Beauty comes from within. It means being content with who you are.”

“Someone who loves themselves is beautiful.”

“Beauty is your individuality. It’s those things that make you unique.”

“A beautiful woman is kind, caring and happy.”

“Beauty is a smile, confidence and sparkling eyes.”

The problem with defining beauty as confidence, kindness, or embracing our personalities is that sometimes we aren’t confident. Sometimes we are unkind. And sometimes our personality sucks. If beauty is a smile and I’m not smiling, have I ceased being beautiful?

This mindset leaves us in exactly the same place as the supermodel standard does; unable to maintain perfection, depressed, and feeling less than beautiful.

The Lie

Just as true beauty doesn’t come from an ideal body shape, neither does it come from your “inner woman.”

While some of the definitions of beauty I quoted above seem Biblical and true, they all contain a subtle lie: We are the source of beauty.

According to scripture our “inner self” is not beautiful. In Jeremiah God says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.” (Jer 17:9) The word “heart” here can translate as inner man, mind, will, heart, and understanding. Moreover, Proverbs warns us not to place our trust in our heart (or inner self), and that by doing so we act foolishly.

“He who trusts in his own heart is a fool.” – Prov 28:26

“A fool has no delight in understanding, But in expressing his own heart.” – Prov 18:2

This isn’t to say that a smile isn’t lovely. Or that a happy, outward focused personality isn’t a beautiful thing. The point is, if you reach deep within yourself for beauty you will always come up empty because you aren’t the source of true beauty. A smile and happy personality are beautiful because they stem from a source outside of you; God Himself.

The Source of True Beauty

Have you ever imagined God as beautiful? David and Isaiah both knew Him as the most beautiful being in creation. (And Isaiah actually saw God sitting on His throne, so I think he knew what he was talking about) Take a look at these verses:

“One thing I have desired of the LORD, that will I seek …To behold the beauty of the LORD.” (Ps 27:4)

“And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us.” (Ps 90:17)

“Honor and majesty are before Him; Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary.” (Ps 96:6)

“Your eyes will see the King in His beauty.” (Is 33:17)

It is only because God Himself is beautiful that we have any beauty. “For from Him [all things originate] and through Him [all things live and exist]” (Rom 11:36)

In the book of Ezekiel God spoke a parable comparing the nation of Israel to a woman. Even though this is written about Israel, it so clearly illustrates how our beauty comes directly from God alone.

“You were thrown out into the open field … on the day you were born. And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood ‘Live!’ … I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful … but you were naked and bare. When I passed by you again and looked upon you … I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine. … Then I washed you in water, yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendour which I had bestowed on you.” says the Lord God. (Ezekiel 16:5-14)

True beauty is Christ’s life reflected in a woman. A truly gorgeous woman is beautiful because Christ’s beauty has become hers. If you are a Christian then you have access to this true beauty. But it’s not found in yourself. It’s found in Christ.

Girls, the world isn’t giving us answers to our beauty insecurities. Neither physical beauty or inner beauty will give us the joy and contentment we so desperately crave.

Recognize where your true beauty and worth comes from. It’s not the clothes you wear, the makeup you put on or even the personality you exude. It’s Jesus Christ living inside of you.

Next week I’ll be sharing some practical steps to take when you find yourself in the same place I was in the story I shared earlier. But in the meantime,

I’d love to hear from you! 

How have you defined true beauty in the past?

Have you ever seen a woman who radiates with the beauty of Christ?