4 Steps to Help You Fight Insecurity

Last week I talked about the source of our beauty as women. We looked at the popular concept of “inner beauty” and why that isn’t the key to true contentment and beauty any more than the Victoria’s secret image is. Obviously the world isn’t giving us answers to our beauty insecurities. So what can we do when we feel less than beautiful? I’m going to share with you 4 steps that have helped me fight insecurity and feelings of worthlessness. Last week’s post is foundational to the four steps I’ll be discussing today. So if you haven’t read it click here and get caught up. This post isn’t going anywhere so you can jump back in when you’re done.  

Remember Truth

When you are drowning in insecurity the first step is to remember truth.

First, remember what we talked about in my last post; Jesus Christ in you is your source of beauty.

You also need to remember what God says about you in His word.

“O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold O Lord You have known it altogether. … For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You.” (Ps 139:1-4, 13-18 emphasis added)

This is what God declares about you. He knows you intimately. That includes every single terrible thing you have ever done and thought and every sin you will commit in the future. He sees every blemish in your skin, everything you hate about your body. He knows because He formed you in the womb. And yet, despite all of your sin and imperfections, He looks at you and says “ You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are my marvellous workmanship.” He thinks about you constantly and His thoughts towards you are love.

The next time you battle insecurity remember, your beauty comes from God and He says you are wonderfully made.

Reject Lies

If God has declared such wonderful truth about you, anyone or thing that says otherwise is a liar. The second step to fighting insecurity is rejecting those lies.

Learn to recognize every voice that says you are ugly, dirty, stupid, or unloved as a lie from the enemy of your soul. Scripture says “it is impossible for God to lie.” (Hebrews 6:18) Therefore, God’s word about you is absolutely true regardless of how you feel. You don’t stop being wonderfully made when you gain weight, break out, or have a bad hair day.  Feelings do not change the truth and choosing to believe feelings of worthlessness is calling God a liar. “Let God be true but every man a liar” (Rom 3:4).

While it’s impossible to keep these lies from entering our heads we can choose what to do with them. We need to learn to stand on scripture and not allow these voices to capture our attention.

Martin Luther once said you can’t stop birds from flying around your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair. Similarly, you can’t stop lies from entering your mind, but you can stop meditating on them and allowing them to take root in your heart.

Sometimes I have to declare out loud, “No that is not true! God has said I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I will not believe this lie! I choose to believe that God is true and what He says about me is true!”

Take a stand against our enemy’s lies! “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

Remove Bird feeders

But let’s say you are doing a great job at keeping those birds from making a nest in your hair (remember this illustrates doing a great job at keeping those lies from taking root in your heart). But you’re getting worn out in the process. There are so many birds! And they are big and loud and you just can’t get away from them. You have no joy, and can’t focus on anything but swatting away birds.

Then a friend walks by and asks why you’re trying to get rid of the birds. “Well I don’t want them hanging out here and pooping all over me!” You respond. Your friend gives you a puzzled look, “Why are you holding that bird feeder then?”

Some things are guaranteed to breed insecurity in your life and leave you with a pile of lies to sort through. Yes, we live in a sinful world and it is impossible to completely eliminate the lies. But if we threw away our bird feeders we would have a whole lot less birds to worry about. The problem is we love our bird feeders.

Some of the most common bird feeders are magazines, movies, social media, music and malls.

We spend all of our time looking at physically gorgeous people in magazines, watching them in movies, scrolling through their social media feeds. We study to catchy tunes about worldly standards and scour the malls trying to keep up with the latest trends. And then we wonder why we are filled with discontentment. We can’t measure up to culture’s photoshopped beauty. And filling our minds with it won’t transform our bodies.

I’ve made the decision to strictly limit my movie watching because most movies leave me very discontent. The actors are physically perfect and I’m not. As I’ve done this my joy in the Lord and ability to accept the things He says about me have hugely increased. I also don’t listen to secular music. Not because I think it’s necessarily sinful but because it kills my contentment and feeds me lies sugarcoated in catchy tunes.

Ask God to show you if anything in your life is filling your mind with lies. Are you willing to get rid of your bird feeders in order to get rid of the birds?

Rejoice in Truth

In Psalm 129 David declared “I will praise You [Lord] for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Remember the truth, reject lies, remove anything that feeds you lies, and then take it a step further – rejoice in the truth.

Rejoicing is different than remembering. It is acting on God’s truth about you. Praise God for how He has made you (even if you don’t feel like praising Him) and rejoice that He does good work. Once you begin to rejoice in the Lord the enemy has to stop pestering you. Praise is one of our strongest weapons against the enemy.

There is an account in the Bible about a king of Judah named Jehoshaphat. He had a very small army, and an army of thousands was coming to war against him.

Upon hearing the news he proclaimed a fast in Israel and gathered the people together to pray. In his prayer he recalled the truth of who God was and rejected the fear that Israel would be defeated.

“O Lord God of our fathers, are You not God in heaven and do You not rule over all the kingdoms of the nations, and in Your hand is there not power and might, so that no one is able to withstand You? Are You not our God, who drove out the inhabitants of this land before Your people Israel, and gave it to the descendants of Abraham Your friend forever? And they dwell in it and have built You a sanctuary in it for Your name, saying ‘If disaster comes upon us – sword, judgment, pestilence, or famine – we will stand before this temple and in Your presence … and cry out to You in our affliction, and You will hear and save.” (2 Chronicles 20:6-9)

After they prayed they went out to battle – praising God. And it was when they started rejoicing that something amazing happened.

“Now when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated.” (2 Chr. 20:22)

Praise is a powerful weapon against the enemy. Next time he throws his lies at you, fight back by praising the Lord for who He is and what He has done.

Four Steps

There you have it! When you feel less than beautiful remember truth, reject lies, remove bird feeders, and rejoice in truth.

 

*** For more on the topic of beauty I highly recommend reading Leslie Ludy’s books “Authentic Beauty” & “Set Apart Femininity.” 

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