I smiled as the door shut behind the last guest. It had been such an encouraging evening.
Replaying that night’s events in my mind, I quickly loaded a stack of coffee mugs and crummy plates into the dishwasher. Encouraging conversations, laughter, and deep friendships left me with much to praise God for.
With the kitchen cleaned up, I made my way downstairs to get ready for bed. Before removing my contacts I glanced in the mirror and my happy heart instantly began to waver on the brink of insecurity and depression.
Your face isn’t pretty. Everyone else at your house tonight had perfect skin.
The lies flooded my mind and I struggled in vain to stop them. They followed me into my dreams and by 6:30 the next morning insecurity had strangled my joy and arrested my emotions before I even had a chance to turn off the alarm.
Every one of us has been there.
Today’s young women are more insecure than any previous generation. This is despite having access to makeup lines, fashion blogs, gym memberships, hair dye, diet plans, and a plethora of other beauty tools previous generations never had.
Inner Beauty
Recently our culture realized that its focus on outward appearance was causing insecurity issues, so they began a new campaign named “inner beauty.”
And it’s not just secular culture embracing the concept of inner beauty, Christian girls are devouring this idea like it’s a pan of warm, fudge brownies and no one’s watching.
We are redefining beauty in terms like these:
Beauty is loving yourself.
Beauty is a kind, caring, and happy personality.
Beauty is a smile, confidence, and sparkling eyes.
The problem with defining beauty as confidence, kindness, or embracing our personalities is that sometimes we aren’t confident. Sometimes we are unkind. And sometimes our personality sucks.
If beauty is a smile and I’m not smiling, have I ceased being beautiful?
This mindset leaves us in exactly the same place as the supermodel standard does – unable to maintain perfection, depressed, and feeling less than beautiful.
The Lie
Just as true beauty doesn’t come from an ideal body shape, neither does it come from our “inner self.”
While the definitions of beauty I quoted above seem Biblical, they all contain a subtle lie: we are the source of beauty.
According to scripture, our “inner self” is not beautiful.
God says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick.” (Jeremiah 17:9) The word “heart” here can also be translated “inner man.” Proverbs also warns us not to place our trust in our heart (or inner self), and that by doing so we act foolishly. (18:2 and 28:26)
This doesn’t mean a smile isn’t lovely or that a happy, outward focused personality isn’t a beautiful thing. But when we reach deep within ourselves for beauty we will always come up empty because we aren’t the source of true beauty.
A smile and happy personality are only beautiful because they stem from a source outside of us – God Himself.
The Source of True Beauty
Have you ever imagined God as beautiful? David and Isaiah both knew Him as the most beautiful being in creation (and Isaiah actually saw God, so I think he knew what he was talking about). Take a look at these verses:
“One thing I have asked of the LORD, that will I seek after … to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD.” (Psalm 27:4)
“Your eyes will behold the King in His beauty.” (Isaiah 33:17)
It is only because God Himself is beautiful that we have any beauty.
Rather than looking inward when we are drowning in insecurity, here are four ways to fight for victory.
1. Remember Truth
Remember that Jesus Christ in you is your source of true beauty. If Jesus Christ lives in you, you have been given His infinite value and beauty.
Look at what He says about you, His child:
“O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You … are acquainted with all my ways … For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:1, 3, 13-14 emphasis mine)
God knows every single terrible thing you have ever done and thought and every sin you will commit in the future. He sees every blemish in your skin, everything you hate about your body. Yet, despite all of your sins and imperfections, He looks at you and says “You are my beautiful daughter.”
The next time you battle insecurity remember, your beauty comes from God and He says you are wonderfully made.
2. Reject Lies
Learn to recognize every voice that says you are ugly, dirty, stupid, or unloved as a lie from the enemy of your soul. Scripture says “it is impossible for God to lie.” (Hebrews 6:18) Therefore, God’s word about you is absolutely true regardless of how you feel.
You don’t stop being wonderfully made when you gain weight, break out, or have a bad hair day. Feelings do not change the truth and choosing to believe feelings of worthlessness is calling God a liar.
While it’s impossible to keep lies from entering our heads we can choose what to do with them.
Martin Luther said, you can’t stop birds from flying around your head, but you can stop them from making a nest in your hair.
When lies enter your mind, choose to stop meditating on them and allowing them to take root in your heart.
“Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)
3. Remove Bird Feeders
Let’s say you are doing a great job at keeping those birds from making a nest in your hair (remember this illustrates keeping those lies from taking root in your heart), but you’re getting worn out in the process. There are so many birds!
Then a friend walks by and asks why you’re trying to get rid of the birds. “I don’t want them making a nest in my hair!” you respond.
Your friend gives you a puzzled look, “Why are you holding that bird feeder then?”
Some things are guaranteed to breed insecurity in our lives and leave us with a pile of lies to sort through. Yes, we live in a sinful world and it is impossible to completely eliminate lies. But if we threw away our bird feeders we would have a whole lot less birds to worry about.
The problem is we love our bird feeders.
We spend all of our time looking at gorgeous girls in magazines, watching them in movies, and scrolling through their social media feeds. We scour the malls and spend hours in front of the mirror trying to keep up with the latest trends. And then we wonder why we are filled with insecurity.
Since I decided to strictly limit my movie watching and stopped spending hours at the mall my joy in the Lord has increase and my ability to accept the things He says about me has become so much easier.
Ask God to show you anything in your life that is filling your mind with lies. Are you willing to get rid of your bird feeders in order to get rid of the birds?
4. Rejoice in Truth
Rejoicing is different than remembering. It is acting on God’s truth about you. Praise God for how He made you (even if you don’t feel like praising Him) and rejoice that He does good work.
Praise is one of our strongest weapons against the enemy. Next time he throws his lies at you fight back by praising the Lord for who He is and what He has done.
The answer to our Insecurities
Girls, the world isn’t giving us answers to our insecurities. Neither physical beauty or inner beauty will give us the joy and contentment we so desperately crave.
Recognize where your true beauty and worth comes from. It’s not the clothes you wear, the makeup you put on, or even the personality you exude. It’s Jesus Christ living inside of you.
Stand on God’s truth, reject the enemy’s lies, get rid of those things that steal your joy, and begin praising God for who He is and who He has created you to be.
I’d love to hear from you!
- Which step is the hardest for you to take when you battle insecurity?
- What are some things in your life that make it difficult to remain content with who you are in Christ?