3 Ways to Make February Amazing Regardless of Your Relationship Status

This is an article to both single girls and dating girls, because all of us – at some point between the chocolate and the chick-flicks – struggle with comparing our lives to Hollywood’s version of romance.  

It’s not so much that we long to go skating amid frost covered firs and sparkly white lights. It’s that every girl, regardless of her relationship status, wants something deeper than a date, chocolate, roses, and an Instagram pic. We want real, selfless, lasting love. 

And real love is something we consistently fail to find in relationships. Even the best guy often fails at loving well because all of us are flawed humans who are not always patient, kind, caring, and selfless. 

When we compare our lives to other people we find ourselves approaching Valentine’s day afraid of being alone. We flip the page on our calendar with hesitation since our guy doesn’t love us like that. 

So, we have two options this February: binge-watch Netflix with a whole tub of Ben and Jerry’s, wallowing in our aloneness, or embrace gratitude for what we have and look for ways to make February awesome.  

I’m choosing the second option. Here are 3 ways to choose fulfilment over loneliness this month. 

 

Embrace Christ’s Love

That longing you have to be loved is actually a good thing. It’s something that God put into you. It’s part of being human. 

God created us to need love the same way He created us to need food, and air, and sunshine. Our desire for love is a God-given desire. Longing to be loved isn’t the problem. The problem is looking to flawed humans to fulfil our need for love. 

Human relationships were never meant to provide us our love fix. 

Our desire for love is meant to be fulfilled in Christ. Even if it feels like no one else loves you right now, God does. Even if it doesn’t feel like God loves you, He does. Just look to the cross. 

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

It’s easy to miss the magnitude of this, to just skip over that verse because we already know it. So let me say it again. 

God has shown you His crazy, unbelievable love by sending Jesus to die for you. 

And He did this while you hated Him and were in rebellion against His love. 

If you are struggling with a deep need for love this month, I want to encourage you to grab your Bible and read the gospel of John. Spend some time in prayer asking God to open your eyes to His love and to open your heart to receive it. Listen to good worship music. Get outside into God’s creation and allow the majesty of the mountains, the beauty of the snow, the splendour of the sunset, the mystery of the wind to capture your heart and understand a bit better the great love that God has for His children. 

 

Be in Community

One of the most practical ways God loves us is through His church. 

Yes, these are flawed humans who can’t love us perfectly. Yes, they will hurt us along the way, just as we are bound to hurt them. But we need them. They are God’s body and He chooses to use them to show you His love. 

I know from experience how hard it is to invest into a community of people when you are struggling. It’s the easiest thing in the world to pull away from the people who love us when we need them most. So I’m here to urge you not to do that. 

We need people who can love us. 

Start investing in your family. Spend time with your siblings. Talk to your parents. Let them love you and start loving them back. 

Get involved in your church. Seek to serve them, and let them serve you. Talk to people on Sunday, see if there is a ministry you can get involved in. 

Don’t exclude yourself from community. Especially when you are hurting, you need to allow people to love you. 

 

Give Love

As much as we do need love, the Bible actually tells us that we will find greater joy and fulfillment in giving love than in receiving it. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35)

Rather than grabbing your Ben and Jerry’s, look for people who need love this month and love them. Ask the Lord who you can serve and keep your eyes open to the people around you. 

There are so many practical ways you can do this. Here are just a few: 

• Host a valentine’s day party and invite all your friends. You could even plan themed games, decorate, and put together a playlist.
• Last year I heard of a girl who got some friends together and wrote hundreds of valentines cards to send to orphans in Africa. Do some research and see if you can find any similar opportunities. Or gather some friends, write valentines, then pass them out in your city along with hot chocolate. 
• Go for coffee with your grandma or an older lady in your church. 
• Do something fun with your siblings. 

Valentine’s day is a great opportunity to give love. But you don’t have to wait for February 14th. You can start right away and keep going!

 

This February, rather than focusing on the love we don’t have let’s be grateful for the love we do have. Glory in the cross and let the love of Christ sustain you. Then from the depths of the love you’ve been given, give love generously. 

 

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I’d love to hear how you are planning to make this February amazing! 

• What are you doing for Valentine’s day?